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The Inn of the Five Unseemly Sorrows had a warped wooden door that stood open. I grasped the hilt of
my sword, Esmeralda, and stuck my nose inside. The room was stuffy and reeked of cabbage and
about-to-turn pork. A skinny serving girl looked up from the oak table she was scrubbing without
enthusiasm, gave me a horrified look and darted behind a ragged curtain.
Gerta pushed past me and pounded her fist on the table. "Ale!"
The curtain quivered, but no ale appeared.
Gerta, never the shrinking violet, jerked the curtain aside and dragged the poor girl out by the wrist.
"We've been on the trail for weeks and we want ale!"
"But I-I can't!" The serving girl hung her head.
I disengaged the poor girl's arm before Gerta broke it. "Why not? We can pay."
She sniffled. "Didn't you read the sign?"
"Read?" Gerta grinned savagely. "Who can read?"
I swiveled my head. "What sign?"
The girl pointed with a trembling finger. "Outside it says 'No Skirts No Service.' "
Gerta's mouth dropped open. She reared back and drew her sword with a great rasp of steel against
steel.
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"Are you crazy? Don't say the S-word!" I snatched the girl out of range. "It makes Gerta really cranky!"
She backed against the wall. "But it's the First of the Five Unseemly Sorrows An Immodest Woman."
She glanced fearfully toward the back room. "My master would stripe me good and proper if I ever
served anyone dressed like "
I covered her mouth before she incited Gerta to full-out murder. "Just bring us some ale, and we'll say no
more about this little misunderstanding." I produced a silver piece and waved it beneath her nose. Her
gray eyes blinked twice before she snatched it out of my hand.
An hour later, several taciturn patrons had come in and then ducked back out again, apparently unwilling
to share the inn with the Unseemly likes of us. The ale tasted like the vats had been used to soak
rutabagas, but I was just reaching that wonderful muzzy state a bit southeast of mellow. Gerta was
considerably further down the same road. My boots were propped up on the plank table and I was
scratching that insistent midback itch beneath my hauberk with the hilt of my dagger, when the princess
entered the inn.
"Oh my," she said unsteadily when she saw us.
Gerta balanced her chair back on two legs and pared her nails with her dagger. "If you have something
to say, spit it out."
"It's just that " She swallowed hard, then straightened her spine. "You are showing your legs so freely,
both of you. I've never seen such a blatant display of the Second of the Five Unseemly Sorrows a
Vulgar Woman."
Gerta's chair slammed down on the floor just as her dagger bit into the table.
The princess flinched.
"I'm beginning to think all this so-called Unseemly stuff everyone keeps talking about only involves
women." Gerta leaned across the table, palms down, and glared. "Tell me that I'm wrong."
"That would be untrue," she said primly. "We recognize Five Unseemly Sorrows in all." Princess
Merrydot ticked them off on her fingers. "An Immodest Woman, a Vulgar Woman, a Bold Woman, a
Rude Woman, and a Tall Woman."
"How interesting."
I've seen grown men faint at the sight of that particularly feral gleam in Gerta's eye, but to her credit, the
princess pulled out the bench opposite Gerta and sat down. "I am in desperate need of having at least
one of my fiancés rescued, and none of my father's guard are willing to go after them. My bridal shower
is this afternoon, the wedding is tomorrow, and there simply isn't a bridegroom in sight. Then I saw you
two and . . ."
I motioned to Gerta to hold her tongue. "And?"
"And you're so big," she blurted, then rushed on at the sight of our grim expressions. "Or should I saytall
, taller than any of the men in our guard. You see, one must be related to our family to serve in the royal
guard and Pap is quite " She hesitated, looked around, then whispered, "Untall."
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"Lot of that going around," Gerta muttered darkly and returned her attention to the dregs of the dreadful
ale.
I held my tankard out for the little barmaid to refill. "So what exactly makes you think a dragon is
involved?"
"The bones," she said. "They're all gnawed and strewn along the trail up to its lair, not to mention the
fearful amount of screaming most nights, and sometimes up on the horizon, one can see fire licking
straight up into the sky."
"Sounds like a bunch of snot-nosed kids playing a prank to me," Gerta said drowsily and pillowed her
head on her arms. "You got one of those Unseemly things for that?"
She raised her chin. "I believe Prince Tristin, he of the lovely green eyes, and Prince Adelbert, who has
the most exquisite cheekbones, are both still alive. I fear poor Prince Rumkin, my third fiance, is dead,
because I never hear his voice. That might be for the best, however, as he was rather unremarkable. At
any rate, if you can rescue any or all of them, I " She hesitated, clearly conflicted, then forced herself to
finish. "I will see that you are invited to the wedding!"
"Gee," I said, "just what I've been longing for. I'll break out my best knife sheathe and polish up my
mail."
Gerta looked up blearily from the table. "You'll have to come up with serious gold if you want us to stir
from this inn, sweetcheeks."
Two bright spots of red danced in Merrydot's ivory cheeks, making her look almost human. "That's Her [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]